I Asked You For Life

I Asked You For Life

(Kim Walker)

October 12, 2010

I asked You for life, and You sent your son to die for me.


I asked You for hope, You came in the night and gave me a dream.


I asked You for freedom, You broke every chain and gave me the keys.


I asked You for love never-ending and every day You surround me!



And now my faith in You is a mountain that can't be shaken,


Now my strength is found in You, It is joy that can't be taken!



Praise spills from my lips, flowing onto the feet of You, my King.


You deserve all the love and all the honor that I can bring!



Here is my song, here is my heart, here is my love, all for You, Jesus!



Holy, Holy, only You are worthy!


Sometimes I forget how much I ask of God, but more importantly I forget how often He has given me what I ask (in some way or another).

When I was in college the first time, I had a bit of a mental/nervous breakdown and in that time I asked God for vision. I asked Him to show me what my next steps should be. That prayer led me to living in Africa for almost a year, which was the single most important time in my entire life.

When I came home from Africa (a bit defeated with the way things had gone towards the end), I asked for wisdom as to where I should head next. That led me to working with some of the most amazing teenagers I have ever met for almost three years.

As this last year of youth group came to an end, I felt that God was pulling me away from the one place I felt truly comfortable in my church. Before I let myself panic, I realized that I had tentatively planned a road trip for that summer. I began to realize that I could really do the road trip and use the drive time and distance from home to truly examine and reorganize my life.

I left in June and by the time I was officially back home towards the end of August, I knew the next step I needed to take. While it was a really hard decision due to the fact that these kids were (AND STILL VERY MUCH ARE) a huge part of my life. I love each of them as I do my own siblings and I couldn’t fathom walking away from them. But God had another plan for me. I stepped down not only from youth ministry, but from ministry in general and am currently allowing myself just to be.

Before I left on the road trip this summer, I was ready to be done with everything. With school, with church, and dare I say it, with God. I had been hurt by several people very close to me and felt that the church (as a whole) was somewhat of a hypocrisy. As awesome as God is, I lost so much of my passion while trying to defend my character and convince people I was not self destructing. I went into the summer with a very small opening for God to work with, but as the days passed I began to feel more and more connected with him. I began to pray that He would allow me to just be myself and not feel like I needed to put on a show. I asked him to show me a peace I had not felt for an incredibly long time. He showed me that allowing myself to come to church without a single string attached was exactly what I needed.

God keeps giving. And now I realize that God is asking me for something as well. He is asking for all of me. Not just little bits and pieces. He wants me and loves me and actively pursues me on a consistent basis. I’ve always heard that women want to be pursued by men. While I have never had that in a romantic girlfriend/boyfriend sort of way, I am seeing that I have that with God. It is so thrilling to know how much He cares about me. God wants me. Not my masks. Not my fronts. Not the image others expect. He wants Me: JUST AS I AM.

“Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear: Forget your people and your father's house.The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.” Psalm 45:10-11

I long to honor Him. God is all I want. He is all I’ll ever NEED. “MY FAITH IN HIM IS A MOUNTAIN THAT CAN NOT BE SHAKEN; A JOY THAT CANNOT BE TAKEN!!!!” Not let it be this for the rest of my days.