"You are the life to my heart and my soul
You are the light to the darkness around me
You are the Hope to the hopeless and broken
You are the only Truth and the Way."
I've recently had an experience that brought me to my most vulnerable place. I have been severely struggling with feeling like I've lost my purpose. When I lived in Africa I just knew that I was in the right place. My heart was content. Even though it was a struggle sometimes, I knew that God was with me and that made all of the difference. It's been over 4 years since I was there. And while there have been wonderful experiences along the way, I have felt alone. I have not felt the hand of God the way I once did. I lost a passion that I so long to get back. In this disconnect, I have felt myself slowly slipping further and further from Him.
On Sunday my church hosted the Bethel Church Worship Team from Indiana. They stayed with my parents over the weekend and at one point the whole team prayed for me. I have been prayed for before, but I have never felt the Holy Spirit's touch the way I did when they prayed for me. They had never met me before, but they completely pin pointed the exact things I was struggling with. One of the women (Jess) was praying and said that she didn't know exactly what I have been struggling with over the past two years, but that it hasn't been fruitless. That is when I burst into tears. How could she have known that? God was in that room. I felt his touch and his spirit surround me.....envelop me. It was wonderful and overwhelming all at the same time. It was God saying over and over again, "I AM HERE. I AM HERE." I could barely hold myself together on Sunday as the words of each song became so intensely real again.
A door has been opened for me to go to Africa again. I cannot even begin to describe not only the happiness, but the joy I have been feeling. He is here. He is the only one who brings me such an amazing joy. He is Here.
